Lone Star State (Paruresis //noun//: the inability to urinate in the presence of ‘others’)

When Loneliness Comes to be Viewed as Somewhat of a Relief…

The physician talking to Robyn in a fairly stuffy office with air-con problems gives Robyn the impression that she is mighty pissed to be there, which Robyn finds kind of off-putting as the physician continues to ask questions concerning Robyn’s toileting habits of late, toileting habits that have changed markedly since the step-up to high school; now whether it is the broken air-con unit that has caused the physician to be in such a foul mood is hard to tell, but Robyn feels slightly resentful of the physician’s oddly pococurante approach w/r/t things that are pretty personal and not at all comfortable to discuss with a stranger (physician or no), let alone your own mother, the mother who is now sitting, silently begging for Robyn to open up to the over-priced physician, and who has a habit of medicalizing every aspect of Robyn’s life, no matter how mundane – Robyn’s recent decision to stop eating breakfast was met with an appointment to see a nutritionist, and Robyn’s conversion from a predominantly all-meat diet (a practice Robyn found most repulsive even as a small child) to that of a vegan diet saw Robyn booked in for a private session (mother-free) with a child psychologist (who, ironically, happened to have been vegan for the majority of his life – unbeknown to Robyn’s mother, of course) – and so Robyn says very little about the difficulties faced on a daily basis w/r/t visiting the restroom, difficulties that have culminated in Robyn not visiting the restroom whilst at school, difficulties that stem from the fact that the high school restrooms at the school which Robyn attends, as apposed to middle-school restrooms at the school Robyn attended previously, have opted for full-on segregation (boys on one side of the school, girls on the other), and that this full-on segregation causes untold stress for Robyn, whereas the middle-school restrooms were very much free and easy, with an all stall layout (no urinals) that made much more sense and afforded a person a certain amount of dignity whilst attending to matters which are arguably not dignified in the least – so Robyn holds it in (which causes problems).


About the textual silence project...

...reading, thinking, and thinking about reading... ...and then writing... View all posts by the textual silence project...

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