Top 3 Geo-engineering Projects currently undergoing Beta testing in Greater Manchester, UK:

Top 3 Geo-engineering Projects currently undergoing Beta testing in Greater Manchester, UK:

 

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1 – The rigid and flaccid lasso (technically two, yes, but both share the ‘lasso principle’ so just one where this list’s concerned). The rigid lasso will attach itself to the core of the sun, preventing it (the sun) from journeying towards the earth and frying earthlings to a crisp. Its great strength comes from the lasso’s construction – many micro-fragments with an almost magnetic (but not magnetic) quality (kind of like the the north-south attraction thing of magnets, but again, nothing magneticy going on here) ensure that face-on pressure (from the sun) is resisted with a capacity of many tons per nano-inch (plenty for the job at hand). The lateral surface of the rigid lasso will allow for passing objects to breach its surface, temporarily destabilising the rigidity of said lasso, before resuming its rigid stature as it returns to its factory constructed length – either the micro-fragments return via the principle of attraction inherent in the lasso’s material, or micro-fragment cloning ensues until the desired length is reached. The flaccid lasso will capture the moon, ensuring it does not wander off at its present rate of a few centimetres per something. Its flaccidity means that objects impacting on the lasso can pass without damaging its structure, and without affecting the ideal moon/earth/distance ratio.

2 – The cosmic catapult. Everything about this project is inspired by the traditional catapult one remembers from childhood. The ‘Y’ frame is fitted with self-renewing energy rocket boosters (3 of – two at the top two pointy bits and one at the bottom pointy bit of the ‘Y’ shape) enabling the most deft manoeuvring capability. Slung between the top two pointy bits is a rubbery/spongey hybrid material that maintains its shape in zero gravity situations, and that multiplies on contact with objects, ensuring the effective caressing of the intended catapult object as it slows. Once the object’s kinetic energy has depleted (rogue-satellite, asteroid, etc.), the catapult’s rubbery/spongey sling will return to its former shape and size – thus speeding the object away in the opposite direction (back into space).

3 – Global-scale air conditioning. Far simpler than it sounds, we take the principles of everyday air conditioning and apply it to our atmosphere. Each continent will require its own super-structure, ideally suspended 40,000 ft above the earth’s surface, thus ensuring, for example, that Africa and Australasia can maintain warmth whilst Antartica can keep its chilled setting.

Obviously, it’s way more complicated than this, but the intention is just to give you a flavour of the ways in which we humans are way cleverer than we sometimes realise.

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